Journal
True Independence
True Independence
9th September 2009
Introduction
Those who know me will understand, to some degree, the vast difference in my ability to travel independently during the day, and at night. My eye condition means that, as the day draws to a close my vision reduces to seeing just lights - not what they're shining on, but the streetlights and headlights themselves. I cannot see street furniture, parked vehicles, the pavement, people walking on the pavement, trees, bushes ... or just about any other obstacle that others use for safe navigation. It was therefore with some trepidation that I approached my first ever walk in the dark with my new guide dog, Vance.
Journal Article
I had been anticipating the approach to this most sizeable of hurdles for most of my guide dog training to date. Whilst I had completely a number of walks in different circumstances - in quiet and busy streets, with shopping in hand, or on my way to work - but it seemed I had been ignoring a very large proverbial elephant in the room.
Walking independently at night, with thrashing a lump of plastic about in front of me, or relying on a companion's arm, was until yesterday just as inconceivable as flying to the supermarket atop a winged Gloucester Old Spot. Whilst it is difficult to explain what I do, or don't see at night, imagine altering the contrast on a digital photograph taken at night, so that all you see are car headlights, streetlights or traffic lights, but none of the obstacles below or before them. That is approximately how the world at dusk and at night appears to me, and why mobility at such times is so difficult.
Some four weeks after beginning my guide dog training, however, I thought the time had come to cautiously approach this hurdle on my own. Whilst my Guide Dogs Mobility Instructors had been planning a night walk at a later point in my training, I felt that doing the first one on my own - without Vance being distracted by their presence - would greatly aid my confidence when repeaitng it in busier areas. I also wanted to slip into darkness step-by-step, rather than plunging in head-first. By doing it on my terms I was able to complete one walk as dusk fell and my sight began to deteriorate, before doing the return leg in complete darkness - giving me an opportunity to learn how the route might look in the dark on the way out, whilst still retaining a small number of visual cues.
I don't think it really hit me, until around 3/4ths of the way back from Waitrose. There wasn't a drop of light in the sky, I was being led along a route including road crossings, corners and street furniture, I had my left arm by my side gently holding the harness handle, and I was walking - perhaps for the first time in the dark - with a degree of dignity. It was such a liberating experience, being freed from the need to wave a cane about in front of me - an object which in practice tends to act as an artificial barrier against the sighted people around me - or to bring along a companion for guidance. Vance was quite superb - truly showing off what he could do - and I felt free to go and do whatever I wanted, regardless of whether it was light or dark outside.
